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Just when hardship seemed to spoil the lives of Alba and Iris Etie, Iris cooked up a recipe for love that makes for the sweetest of Valentine stories. In June 1995, the happy couple celebrated their 50th anniversary and renewed their wedding vows surrounded by family and friends. However, fate soon dealt them several unfortunate blows. Alba suffered a near-fatal heart attack in August 1995 and had hip replacement surgery in 1996. Then during Easter week in 1996, Iris was diagnosed with uterine cancer, which spread to her liver. "Cancer changes your perspective of life," she said. So in the wee hours of the night when she couldn’t sleep, Iris began putting her feelings down on paper. "I wanted my children and grandchildren to know how l felt about our family," Iris said. In her notes, she cooked up a recipe for the things that really count in a marriage. With love as the basic ingredient, Iris advises couples to find shared interests, have fun, do things as a family but don’t keep score or expect perfection. "Find things that you enjoy doing together even if you don’t enjoy the same things," Iris said. "I’ve been on lots of hunting and fishing trips and he’s been to a lot of ballets." Iris thinks her husband hit the nail on the head when he said "couples go into marriage asking what is this marriage going to do for me not what can we do for this marriage." Alba’s advice was to "give in — both sides give in." Eventually Alba found out what Iris was up to in the middle of the night and thought he would give her a special Valentine’s Day present. Four years ago today, Alba presented his wife with a box full of booklets containing Iris’ words of wisdom. They have a love story that goes all the way back to when the met at Lanier Junior High School. After both graduating from Lamar High School, the two married June 15, 1945. They lived in Texarkana, Houston and eventually moved to River Plantation in 1968.Throughout their lives, they have considered family the highest priority and keep a close-knit family including children Mike, Larry, Alba III and Nancy and their seven grandchildren. Lillian Roth has known the couple for 50 years and calls them tremendous parents and a very caring family. "Whatever the children were involved in they were involved in too," Roth said. "Iris made Nancy’s costumes for dances and Alba was the referee for the boy’s games. "They are devoted to each other and their children and grandchildren," Roth said. "I’ve seen them pass that on to their children and grandchildren. The children are devoted to each other and so are the grandchildren." Now looking back on a time when cancer held its tightest grip on her body, Iris Etie often wonders why God helped her survive. In the fall 1999, when things looked the bleakest, Etie spent 90 days in a hospital. She was fed through a tube and faced; an uncertain future. "Afterward, they called me the ‘Miracle Lady’ because I was very, very sick," Etie said. In reflection, Etie said, she was spared for a purpose. Last week, Etie started. a new type of treatment, thalidomide. She is one of 30 people in the United States who are testing this new drug. Etie believes even if she doesn’t benefit from the drug, perhaps other young people will. "I’ve wondered why God let me live and I know it’s to test this drug," Etie said. "No one wants to have cancer, but I’ve lived a full life, and there are so many young people that are suffering. |
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