"We had a strange relationship. On one hand, I was his mother; on the other hand he was my Lord. When Gabriel told me I was highly favored among women. I said let it be to me according to thy word. At that time, I didn’t realize I was going to be both giving birth to the Christ and watching him die – like criminal. And yet, had I remembered the words of Isaiah, I would have known exactly what was going to happen to him. I remember hearing Simeon’s words to me in the temple that day, "a sword will pierce your very soul", I should have known then that he would be with me only a short while.’ But a mother never wants to dwell on the coming death of her child.

It crushed my soul to see the crucifixion. Flesh of my flesh – open and bleeding, forsaken by his Father. Yet (SHOUTS) THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO (softly) but watch, weep, and repeatedly ask the Father to have mercy on him, to end his suffering. I would have done anything to put myself on that cross and have him come down. But that is not what his mission was…I knew what he was here to do, but the mother in me, saw the young boy I raised and my heart broke.

John drug me away from that cross as they removed his body for burial and brought me to the secret place. There with everyone else; I stayed hidden, grieving for my baby my baby.

Oh how I REJOICED when Mary ran in to tell us Jesus was ALIVE, that she had seen our risen Lord. I rejoiced as a mother because I knew the next place he would be was with me – then God the Father. My son, at the right hand of El Shaddai (shad-eye). My Son and My Lord!

I saw him later that day. His wounds had healed over, but they were still visible, but Jehovah Rapha had taken his pain, and restored him. I praised God with my whole being because I was allowed to see my son that way and hear him preparing us for the coming of what he called the comforter.

God was gracious to me. I had my Lord on this earth another 40 days…and as he ascended into heaven, I knew I would be with him there. An eternity with my son – which is all a mother wants anyway… right? (Pause as if waiting for an answer then exit stage left towards the trail.) ©S.D. Williams

©SD Williams

THOMAS: "First, let me get something straight. Yeah, I doubted when I had heard Jesus had risen from the dead. BUT, where there is strong doubt, there also exists strong faith.

You like to think of me as the one who doubted the word of my Lord. Perhaps it is because when I went to Asia, the churches I established mixed Christianity with Hinduism and because of that unique circumstance the Gospel I wrote was not included in the scriptures you have. But I have to set the record straight. The Gospel I preached there was the true gospel. I taught of Christ’s love and his deity and his resurrection, just as my Lord said to, when he told me to "go forth and make disciples of all men." I have no doubt he intended me to go to Asia.

You know, people seem to forget I was the only one who insisted on going to Bethany when Lazarus died. I told Jesus I would follow him even unto death, and frankly I did.

But what I don’t understand myself is how I could have watched Lazarus come out of the grave after FOUR days, and then doubt Jesus’ resurrection. I am a man…as well as an apostle of the living Lord. I took his death particularly hard because it had taken me so long to believe in who he was in the first place.

My doubt was based on this – Is Jesus really risen from the dead? Had he really conquered death and all that would mean for everyone? Or had everyone lost their minds?

Don’t YOU ever say "unless I see it with my own eyes, I won’t believe? OR I think you now say "I’ll believe it when I see it?" When the Lord appeared to us I didn’t DEMAND anything from him. I simply said, "Unless I SEE the marks in his hands, and put my fingers where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." Jesus (pause) he didn’t react in anger like Peter did when I said that. He simply said "Put your finger here, see my hands (pantomime with your hands what he is explaining happened) Reach out with your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe"

(Chuckles) Well, I KNEW when enough was enough with him, plus I went beyond belief and into worship. I said my Lord – my God! Because at that moment I realized FULLY that Jesus is both. Christ defeated death, not by strength, power or might, but by his wounds, nail holes, and the mark of a spear. (Look at audience for a moment, and exit stage left back onto trail)

©SD Williams